1:46 AM

Posty Post Post

ok so it's almost two in the morning, i have a jr. high sunday school lesson to write for tomorrow, and i have a ton of work ahead of me before i finish up my junior year by 12 pm on wednesday. but i'm good - a little loopy, as you can tell from the title of this post, but good. i'm teaching tomorrow morning on "the inner circle" and how people crave to be included and loved, and how we as believers are in THE inner circle and how that should spark compassion for others in us and not snide haughtiness. you know, no cliques.

i'm basing this on galatians 3:27-29 and the design of the temple.

yay for Scripture.

in a couple of days i will post my essay on why it's an oxymoron to be a christian platonist.

2:58 AM

In 12 Hours...

...i will be forever done with astronomy.

1:00 AM


so, it's only the reading day and i'm still so far gone that i'm ready to propose to someone who talks like keats and has the heart of jonathan edwards - and i don't even believe in women proposing! and i seriously can't stand poetry normally. the edwards thing, well that's pretty standard for me. what is the deal with keats? then again, if he was good enough for henry higgins, he's good enough for me... right?

i'm hot. i wonder if the guys in the lounge will let me open a window.

it is 1 am and i have at least to get through page 3 on my mama day/chaneysville paper. and i have a hankering (obviously) to write about keats, which is my other paper. and tomorrow is the af am lit post vietnam final. and saturday is the astronomy final. thank God for sunday. then of course there's the fun and exciting world of the greek exam on monday morning and the realtor's office monday afternoon. tuesday is moving day. wednesday morning is the history of english common law exam (remind me why i ever wanted to take that class?) . and i have to entirely move out and check out of my dorm by thursday night, but we don't leave for summer conference till sunday... can you believe i'm only at the beginning and i'm already this ridiculous?

i mean really... KEATS???

and on top of that, my nose itches.

10:20 PM

WTS Launches Really Sweet Website

While I'm off galavanting through the fun and exciting world of finals and papers, check out this new website about The DaVinci Code that Westminster Theological Seminary just launched on Easter. It's super-helpful and cool.

3:06 PM

Over-Worked But Underpaid

as my mom said the other day, "we pay all this money so you can work this hard?"

things are getting done, though, and by this time next week my exams will be over.

9:42 PM

An Ode to Milk

oh, milk, so yummy and great,
you will make my bones strong like a plate
(a plate made of metal of course
that wouldn't break though rushed by wild boars).
how i love thee, o milk,
for your texture's like silk
and your flavor - delicious and good.
i will drink of your depths, o my bliss,
and will ever praise you for this:
you come from a cow
and i just don't know how
i can drink a half gallon of you
in a four-hour span, but it's true.
you make life more rich and forsooth -
you are strengthening me and my tooth!
(well of course i mean "teeth" but you see
it just won't do the rhyme-deal for me
so i had to say tooth since it rhymed with forsooth)
and now i will stop ode-ing thee.

7:55 PM

Grace Upon Grace

in every station, new trials and troubles
call for more grace than i can afford
where can i go but to my dear Savior
for mercy that pours from boundless stores?

grace upon grace, every sin repaired
every void restored, you will find Him there
in every turning He will prepare you
with grace upon grace

He made a way for the fallen to rise
perfect in glory and sacrifice
in sweet communion my need He supplies
He saves and keeps and guards my life

with grace upon grace, every sin repaired
every void restored, you will find Him there
in every turning He will prepare you
with grace upon grace

to Thee i run now with great expectation
to honor You with trust like a child
my hopes and desires seek a new destination
and all that You ask Your grace will provide

grace upon grace, every sin repaired
every void restored, you will find Him there
in every turning He will prepare you
with grace upon grace

4:29 PM

Crunchy Conservatism

amy over at humble musings brought my attention to this article. while at least most of what i read isn't something i would automatically accept hook, line, and sinker, i found this quote to be particularly intriguing.
"As Catholics we know that spiritual truth is mediated through material things. And I think what this implies is that there are no empty gestures, that everything counts and everything is connected in ways that we don't always appreciate."
i would hope that would apply to all us Christians. after all, isn't that largely what the sacraments are about - outward signs of inward realities, etc?
just a thought...

2:13 AM

Are You Sitting Down?

i am crazier about shane & shane pretty much as the days go by. today's song-that-grabbed-me is called "God Did" and the reason is mostly because of the chorus (which is musically gorgeous, by the way): "are you sitting down, with all your sin and shame all stored up? are you ready to live? for what the law could not do, God did." the amazing thing about this to me is just how i do it and i don't need to - i sit in my sin, wallowing like a pig in a mud puddle - with shame and sin. what in the world am i thinking? and the thing is that God has done what the law cannot do - save me. that means that all my sin and shame (which i know about because of the law, both the one written on my heart and the one written on paper) doesn't have to be a part of my life anymore - in fact, it ISN'T if i am really a daughter of the King. so the bottom line is, if i am a princess, i should live like one. princesses are not pigsty material - LIFE awaits me.

2:43 PM

Another Couple of Odyssey Quotes

connie: "you're a boy, which naturally means you don't know the first thing about girls. i'm a girl, which..."
eugene: "...naturally means that you know everything there is to know about boys and girls."
connie: "exactly!"
eugene: "what?!"
from an episode that spoofed star trek...
voice-over: "space. one of the last places to be explored. these are the journeys of the starship aerobicise, on a five year mission to explore strange new worlds. to seek out new life with new spin-off series, to saturate the market with action figures and plastic pointy ears. it's Star Trip, starring, william shattered."

crock: "'thou shalt not grab jackets.' i'm not familiar with that verse."
captain: "maybe it's one of those new translations."

captain: "zuzu, what's our position?"
zuzu: "we're pretty close, sir."
captain: "and what's our present speed?"
zuzu: "really fast."
captain: "arrival time?"
zuzu: "uh, not too long."

1:11 AM

mmm cookout

three words: 2 cop cars

who knew milkshakes made you loud?

10:47 AM

Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.
While you may not be a total hippie...
You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.
However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.
Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

wow. how's that for inaccurate? i mean, maybe i'm FROM TEXAS and that's why cacti are appealing... although i do think about my actions (usually too much) and i'm sure i shock and offend people from time to time...

1:47 AM

You Never Know Where You'll Find Profundity...

this is the first verse and chorus of a song called "move along" by a band known as the all american rejects. i think they are stalking me and they wrote this song for me... but that's just a guess.

go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
when you fall everyone sins
another day and you've had your fill of sinking
with the life held in your
hands are shaking cold
these hands are meant to hold

speak to me, when all you've got to keep is strong
move along, move along like i know you do
and even when your hope is gone
move along, move along just to make it through
move along

ok, how many days have i wasted with thinking? this month? i can't even tell you...
and geez, what a drama queen to think that me screwing up is tantamount to the fall of kingdoms - i mean, i'm just not the center of the universe like that.
there's so much weight to this - and the expectation that i must perform perfectly. of course i would get sick of sinking...
"when all you've got to keep is strong" - gee. that sounds like stuff my dad says to me all the time.
of course, my hope is never gone because it is Christ, but the point here i think is that i have to cut the crap and quit fighting life with the tools of analysis - and move along.

tonight at RUF kevin's sermon had alot to do with the two ways we can take the bible - as either primarily about what i have to do (moralistic) or primarily about what Christ has done (redemptive). if i take it as something about me and what all is my responsibility to do, it will crush me. but if i look at it in light of, say, romans 8:1 ("there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."), then i have the greatest grounds for hope in the history of the universe.

yay for the gospel. and boo for my overanalytical self trying to take responsibility back from my Savior and my God, when my only hope is that He has taken all the weight of perfection off of me as my means of currying favor with Him.

substitutionary atonement or bust, baby.

1:26 AM

Crown Him

crown Him with many crowns, the Lamb upon His throne
hark! how the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own
awake, my soul, and sing of Him Who died for thee
and hail Him as thy matchless King throughout eternity

crown Him the Lord of life Who triumphed o'er the grave
Who rose victorious in the strife for those He came to save
His glories now we sing, Who died and rose on high
Who died eternal life to bring and lives that death may die

crown Him the Lord of peace, Whose power a scepter sways
from pole to pole, that wars may cease, and all be prayer and praise
His reign shall know no end, and round His pierced feet
fair flowers of paradise extend their fragrance sweet

crown Him the Lord of love, behold His hands and side -
rich wounds, yet visible above in beauty glorified
no angel in the sky can fully bear that sight
but downward bends his burning eye at mysteries so bright

crown Him the Lord of years, the Potentate of time
Creator of the rolling spheres, ineffably sublime
all hail, Redeemer, hail! for Thou hast died for me
Thy praise shall never, never fail throughout eternity
1) Jesus is King many times over. :)
2) He "lives that death may die"
3) the reign of Jesus is eternal, and it brings life (a la the flowers) and fragrance (a la what i said before) and order and praise
4) the wounds of Christ are dear, beautiful, and so glorious angels can't look at them. and that is true because they mark His love for us. how rich is that?!
5) no worries about the future - we serve the Potentate of time
6) the Creator-God is the Savior-God (hebrews 1, esp vs. 2)

1:12 AM

a great line i just had to post

"i've been on so many blind dates i should get a free dog!" - funny2.com

you must admit, that is pretty hilarious.

and no, it's not true of me... yet...

free dogs welcome!

12:25 AM

A Brother, an Epiphany, and the Resurrection

so my little brother, who is a mere thirteen years of age, is one of the most hilarious people ever. he is sweet and funny and he loves Jesus and i just think he's awesome. anyway, while i was at home this weekend, he left this on a digital post-it note on my computer:
Things to do in the big D:

(1) give KJ a big hug

(2) give KJ $50

(3) give KJ a video game

(4) pet the dogs without washing my hands right after (EWWWWWWWWWWWW)

don't you just love little brothers? :-D (ps all i actually accomplished was #1, but i did that repeatedly - we're a huggy family; what can i say? and he did offer to buy me a ringtone so i don't have to deal with the laughing baby anymore.)

my epiphany was related to the scripture meditation i heard at my home church on good friday. actually, it centers on a verse that rev. settle didn't comment on at all, but it struck me. those of you who know me in person will not be surprised that it relates to the whole sabbath thing.

luke 23:56b - on the sabbath day they rested according to the commandment.

context: Jesus has just died, and joseph of arimathea has taken His body to be buried in his family tomb. then we get this in verse 55 - "the women who had come with him from galilee followed and saw the tomb and how His body was laid." so Jesus is for sure dead. but get this: their resting on the sabbath day was the first REAL sabbath since the Fall.

when Jesus said "it is finished," He meant it. our redemption was accomplished. and since the sabbath is all about the fact that it is the work of God that makes us holy before Him, not our own (see exodus 31:12-17), it seems to me that since that first sabbath after the crucifixion was the first one on which the work needed to make us holy in this way was done. crazy-cool, huh?

so guess what. my pastor at home preached an amazing sermon on easter, or as we like to call it, "resurrection sunday," about the necessity to our faith and the gospel for a historical resurrection. bashing such highly regarded theologians and philosphers as bultmann and van buren, he talked about how important it is for Jesus to have actually come back to life. without a real resurrection, dead people cannot come to life. in fact, there is absolutely no hope for mankind if Jesus did not rise from the dead. so all this warm-fuzzy stuff about having "an easter event in your heart" is hogwash without a living Lord to make it possible.

theology is more relevant than we could imagine, folks...

11:39 PM

HE IS RISEN! Christ is risen indeed!

all authority and power
all authority and power, every status and domain
now belongs to One Who suffered, our redemption to obtain
angels, demons, kings and rulers - over all shall Jesus reign

all the nations owe Him worship; ev'ry tongue shall call Him Lord
how are men to call upon Him if His Name they have not heard?
therefore, go and make disciples, preach His gospel, spread His Word

all the clear commands of Jesus must be heeded and obeyed
full provision for our weakness in His teaching He has made
in the gospel words and symbols - saving truth to us conveyed

all the time He will be with us, always, to the end of days
with His own believing people who keep steadfast in His ways
God the Father, Son, and Spirit bless us and to God be praised!
1) "rejoice! the Lord is King!" comes to mind :) talk about a benevolent dictator - if our Savior and the passionate Lover of our souls is calling the shots, we surely have nothing to fear.
2) again we see the strong connection between the gospel taking hold of our hearts and missions. it's a necessary correlation.
3) the third verse is sooooooooooooooooooo rich. i don't khow what to do with it, where to begin breaking it down. it's pretty amazing stuff. Jesus makes demands of us - commands, if you will - and yet we have this: "full provision for our weakness in His teaching He has made" - "He knows we are but dust."
4) Jesus is coming back for us, but He is also with us always. we are not alone.
Flesh and Blood
flesh and blood, born a Babe
flesh and blood, You lived and breathed
amazing love!
You came and gave your flesh and blood
to set me free

so hallelujah for the bread, it is His body
and the wine, it is the blood that binds us now
and the living bread remains,
the communion of the saints
sing the mystery of faith, flesh and blood

flesh and blood, you are my children
flesh and blood, if you believe
so take this cup,
and when you take My flesh and blood
remember Me

so hallelujah for the bread, it is His body
and the wine, it is the blood that binds us now
and the living bread remains,
the communion of the saints
sing the mystery of faith, flesh and blood

we remember, blessed Jesus, we remember
God help us all if ever we forget
that the Author of the story
cast off His crown of glory
for a crown of thorns
and flesh and blood

so hallelujah for the bread, it is His body
and the wine, it is the blood that binds us now
and the living bread remains,
the communion of the saints
sing the mystery of faith, flesh and blood

we remember, blessed Jesus, we remember
(bread, it is His body)
God help us all if ever we forget
(blood that binds us now)
that the living Bread remains
the communion of the saints
sing the mystery of faith, flesh and blood
not really a hymn, but it is a new andy peterson - and one of my very favorites ever. it really drives home the utter fleshiness of the incarnation - all this flesh and blood buisness is amazing. and the fact that we are given a physical representation of all of this - communion. and that physical representation is bigger than the bread and the wine. (i'm with calvin on this - no consubstantiation or transubstantiation or any of that buisness.) anyway, i think this is a BEAUTIFUL communion hymn.
and a fun sovereignty line goes with this: "the Author of the story cast off His crown of glory for a crown of thorns and flesh and blood."
y'all, the gospel is AMAZING.
Rock of ages (when the day seems long)
Rock of ages, when the day seems long
from this labor and this heartache i have come
the skies will wear out, but You remain the same
Rock of ages, i praise Your Name

Rock of ages, You have brought me near
You have poured out Your lifeblood, Your love, and Your tears
to make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of ages, forgive my sin

Rock of ages, Rock of ages, bind Your children till the kingdom comes,
Rock of ages Your will be done

Rock of ages, when in want or rest
my desperate need for such a Savior i confess
now pull these idols out of my heart-embrace
Rock of ages, i need Your grace

Rock of ages, broken, scorned for me
who am i that You would die to make me free?
to give me glory, You took the death and the pain
Rock of ages, my offering

Rock of ages, 'it is done!' You cried
the curtain's torn and i see justice satisfied
now write Your mercy on my heart and hands
Rock of ages, in faith i stand

Rock of ages, my great Hope secure
Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
bind Your children with cords of love and grace
Rock of ages, we give You praise

Rock of ages, Rock of ages, bind Your children till the kingdom comes
Rock of ages, Your will be done
another new hymn, this one written by kevin twit and cut by sandra mccracken. i'm actually not going to comment on this. :) i think it stands for itself.

12:30 AM

Christ the Lord Is Risen Today

Christ the Lord is risen today - allelujah
all creation join to say - allelujah
raise your joys and triumphs high - allejuah
sing, ye heavens, and earth reply! - allelujah

love's redeeming work is done - allelujah
fought the fight, the battle won - allelujah
death in vain forbids Him rise - allelujah
Christ has opened paradise - allelujah

lives again our glorious King - allelujah
where, o death, is now thy sting? - allelujah
once He died our souls to save - allelujah
where thy victory, o grave? - allelujah

soar we now where Christ has led - allelujah
following our exalted Head - allelujah
made like Him, like Him we rise - allelujah
ours the cross, the grave, the skies - allelujah!
no, this song wasn't hard to find. i gave up on "all authority and power" because it was just not working for me. maybe we'll sing it tomorrow at church and i can get it from there. it's a great song.

anyway, here's my thoughts on this one:
1) the doctrine of imputation - that what belongs to and was done by Christ is now ours. "made like Him, like Him we rise; ours the cross, the grave, the skies" - isn't htat beautiful?
2) Jesus loves us. He loves us SO much. and, dude, He's ALIVE. how amazing is that?
3) He is tougher than death. He is stronger than sin. He is our God and our Savior.
4) "love's redeeming work is done" - wow. "it is finished" indeed.

12:06 AM

All Praise to Christ

all praise to Christ, our Lord and King divine
yielding His glory in His love's design
that in our darkened hearts His grace might shine

Christ came to us in lowliness of thought
by Him the outcast and the poor were sought
and by His death was our redemption bought

He was a servant that we might be free
humbling Himself to death on calvary

and so we see in God's great purpose how
Christ has been raised above all creatures now
and at His Name will every nation bow
this hymn has been the single hardest to track down, and most of it i had to rely on my memory for. tomorrow's is almost tied with it ("all authority and power") in this respect. therefore, the first line of the third verse is missing. sorry about that. i can't find it anywhere without paying like 9 pounds (the english money kind, not flesh - no worries).
1) i just like the lyricism of this song. it's so pretty form a literary standpoint.
2) "yielding His glory in His love's design, that in our darkened hearts His grace might shine" - i mean, really, how incredible is that?! of course, we know that in the end this means more glory for our God - both because of His great love as evidenced in His great sacrifice, and because He gets us in the bargain. :)
3) Christ comes down low - to our level - and seeks the low - which would be us. and yet in the same breath we can proclaim " and by His death was our redemption bought!" allelujah indeed.
4) stanza three makes me think of this: "for our sake He made Him Who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 cor. 5:21)
5) amazing how God's self-humbling becomes His glorification, and how all the low-ness of this incarnation and passion buisness was "in God's great purpose."

how great is our God?!

12:02 PM

Lift High the Cross

Lift high the Cross, the love of Christ proclaim

Till all the world adore His sacred Name

Come, Christians, follow where our Savior trod

Our King victorious – Christ, the Son of God

Lift high the Cross, the love of Christ proclaim

Till all the world adore His sacred Name

All newborn children of the Crucified

Bear on their brows the seal of Him Who died.

Lift high the Cross, the love of Christ proclaim

Till all the world adore His sacred Name

Let every race and every language tell

Of Him Who saves our souls from death and hell

Lift high the Cross, the love of Christ proclaim

Till all the world adore His sacred Name

O Lord once lifted on the glorious tree

As Thou hast promised, draw the world to Thee

Lift high the Cross, the love of Christ proclaim

Till all the world adore His sacred Name
in the most respectful way possible , let me say that my parent's internet access is WAY slower than mine at school and for that reason, this site wouldn't even load for me last night. so that's why we're doing it today.
1) the Gospel makes us missionaries
2) this is a really cool song musically; very much a battle victor tune, full of majesty and pomp and all that stuff. i really think that suits the words well, and makes them richer because more of us is involved...
3) "come Christians - follow where our Savior trod" - i love this reminder that Jesus never takes us to places He hasn't been before us.
4) the "seal of Him Who died" bit sends shivers down my spine because it sounds so permanent - AND IT IS!!!!!!!!!!! (perserverance of the saints, baby)
5) the Gospel transcends racial and national borders - He saves all kinds of people's souls from death and hell, and that (+ that seal, the Holy Spirit) give us all equal footing in the kingdom of God.
6) you know, so much of this song is centered around numbers 21. the people of Israel get whiny, and God sends a bunch of "fiery serpents" down to bite them, and alot of them die. but He has moses make a bronze snake and put it on a pole, so that if anyone looks up at it he will not die. gee, does that sound prophetic to you? so anyway, this song is really about perishing people looking up to the cross and being made well. we just have to lift that cross HIGH so that it can be seen - no hiding under bushels or any of that business.

i am sick, have been for a while in fact. i feel awful. but at least i'm home!

3:12 AM

Thou Lovely Source of True Delight

Thou lovely Source of true delight
Whom i, unseen, adore
unveil Thy beauties to my sight
that i might love Thee more, oh that i might love Thee more

Thy glory o'er creation shines
but in Thy sacred Word
i read in fairer, brighter lines
my bleeding, dying Lord, see my bleeding, dying Lord

tis here whene'er my comforts droop
and sins and sorrows rise
Thy Word with cheering beams of hope
my fainting heart supplies, my fainting heart supplies

and - ah, too soon! - the pleasing scene
is clouded o'er with pain
my gloomy fears rise dark between
and i again complain, oh, and i again complain

Jesus, my Lord, my Life, my Light
o, come with blissful ray
break radiant through the shades of night
and chase my fears away - won't You chase my fears away?

then shall my soul with rapture trace
the wonders of Thy love
but the full glories of Thy face
are only known above, they are only known above
1) Jesus is the lovely source of true delight, and He's the unseen one (not me)
2) "unveil Thy beauties to my sight that I might love Thee more" - oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart! nota bene that he turns immediately to scripture...
3) special revelation (the Bible) bests general revelation (nature) because the sacrifice of Christ is revealed in the Bible
4) Jesus' love for me, expressed to me in scripture, restores my heart when life sucks (either because of me or something outside me)
5) though i am encouraged by the gospel, and my heart is lifted by its glorious description of my glorious God, i'm quick to forget and i turn back to my favorite hobby: whining. (believe me, this is totally autobiographical.)
6) whining and fear and lauren's tendency to over-analysis all go together...
7) Lord Jesus, save me from me
8) as christians,we live in the already but not yet - we know Jesus, but not like we will; He is King, but not like He will be... this should make us HUNGER for His return, since that is when he will come get us and make everything right.

i'm going HOME tomorrow. :-D

10:20 PM

It Is Well

when peace like a river attendeth my way
when sorrows like sea billows roll
whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
"it is well, it is well with my soul."

it is well with my soul
it is well, it is well with my soul

though satan should buffet, though trials should come
let this bless'd assurance control:
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate
and has shed His own blood for my soul!

it is well with my soul
it is well, it is well with my soul

my sin - o! the bliss of this glorious thought -
my sin, not in part but the whole
is nailed to the cross and i bear it no more
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, o my soul!

it is well with my soul
it is well, it is well with my soul

and, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll
the trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend
even so, it is well with my soul

it is well with my soul
it is well, it is well with my soul
1) ok, first verse is pretty easy: whether life is rolling along smoothly or i'm being overwhelmed by all the tough stuff coming at me - regardless of how my situation is or how i feel - i'm alright. in fact, i'm WELL.
2) second verse is a little more thought-provoking: no matter how awful it gets, or what kind of awful (satanic, just sinful, circumstantial - you name it), my comfort and assurance is that Christ died for me because He took a hard look at where i am and said "that won't do."
3) verse three is fabulous and def my favorite part of this hymn: no matter how screwed up i am, and how just awful things get because of me, that statement ("it is well with my soul") is still true. all that stuff that was mine is now nailed to the cross of Christ and it's mine no longer. i don't carry that burden. "praise the Lord" is right!
4) Jesus is coming back for us, y'all! can you believe that??? i'm so excited. that's what the last verse is about, but the one line that has confused me is "even so, it is well with my soul" - i mean, when Jesus comes back for me, gosh darn it i will be glad! why wouldn't i be well - better than ever in fact? (not that i'll be more secure, but you should see A Debtor to Mercy Alone for more on that...) it has occurred to me that maybe what's referenced here is fear and trembling - Jesus won't be coming peacefully this time - or perhaps the fact that we - at least i - have things i would like to do before He comes. like get married and have babies. and that our selfish and stupid hunger for those things more than for the Savior won't shatter us either.

regardless, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. our God made sure of that for good on resurrection sunday around 2000 years ago...

12:36 AM

Thoughts (assuming they deserve that title)

today has been highly - HIGHLY - productive, so i have time to write more than lent stuff, which i already did earlier. so now i just get to ramble.

my schedule next semester is going to be SO weird. my first class on m/w/f will be at 1:00, but my first class t/th will be at 9:30. and at the moment it will be my ONLY class on t/th. but i have this directed reading thing that has to be scheduled and then voice that has to be scheduled and of course there's this lovely thing called I WILL LIVE OFF CAMPUS that means that i will be cooking ALOT (thank You, Jesus!) and hosting alot and hanging out alot and YAY i'm SO EXCITED. plans for next year are going well - i have to call the power company and the cable company and all those fun folks in the next few days to set up accounts, and we move in may 1. i have a signficant amount of stuff figured out - furniture purchased, borrowed, stolen (jk); ISP determined; moving situation figured out; glasses and china and other such things purchased. we're looking pretty good and i am PUMPED.

oh, and when i GO HOME FOR EASTER, i'm getting to interview with the b&n children's section head and hopefully will come back with a real summer job! no more cutco ever again!

boy i am all over the place tonight... and you'll notice i'm not being particularly heady. that's because i have no brain left.

i like salmon.

i want to sleep not on an airmattress on a bad dorm mattress on a springy thing ever again! thankfully, at least i'll be in my own bed in only a few nights - let's see, in... 3 nights from now! holy moley! :-D

guess what?! i am so totally writing a paper on marriage vs. being live-in lovers for one of my english classes! it's really cool because it'll be fun and relatively wholesome, which if you and i have talked about that class at all (af am lit post vietnam) you know is tough to pull off given the books we've been reading. but one of the books i'm using is this fabulous, amazing book - second book (not counting the Bible) ever to make me cry. it was called Mama Day, and it was even better than a breath of fresh air in the middle of belen in iquitos, peru.

i'm kinda gonna be sad when lent is over. i have really really enjoyed and benefitted from all this blogging-about-a-propitiatory-atonement-hymn-every-day stuff. i might keep doing hymns and just change themes... thoughts?

3:13 PM

Thine Be the Glory

i feel like doing this earlier than normal. maybe i'm still procrastinating, but i think it's just that it's stuck in my head...

Thine be the glory, risen, conqu'ring Son
endless is the victory Thou o'er death has won
angels in bright raiment rolled the stone away
kept the folded grave-clothes where Thy body lay

Thine be the glory, risen, conqu'ring Son
endless is the victory Thou o'er death has won

lo! Jesus meets us risen from the tomb
lovingly He greets us, scatters fear and gloom
let the Church with gladness hymns of triumph sing
for her Lord now liveth - death has lost its sting!

Thine be the glory, risen, conqu'ring Son
endless is the victory Thou o'er death has won
1) the tune of this song is so amazingly triumphant. i love it. it fits perfectly.
2) Christ is risen, y'all! i mean He really and truly was dead and now is alive. can you get your mind around that? (if you do, let me know how cause i'm still in shock and i've believed it my whole life!)
3) death is defeated :) Jesus lives!
4) in case you didn't notice, we are victorious because JESUS IS ALIVE. and that is why we get to sing "hymns of triumph." craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy, man.
"grace travels outside of karma..." life is not about "what goes around comes around" - we aren't getting what we deserve, and that's only because Jesus didn't get what He deserved. and, dude, you surely don't want to be in the position where you DO get what you deserve. grace is beyond what is earned or deserved. and that means that to love those who love us and say sweet things to people who are nice to us - there is no grace in that. not that it's bad, but it's not where grace comes in. grace should show up when people are mean and petty and unkind. it should show up when you are betrayed. as Gospel people, we should know this well. and we should be living it.

1:19 AM

We Have Heard the Joyful Sound

we have heard the joyful sound - "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"
spread the tidings all around - "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"
spread the news to every land, climb the steeps and cross the waves
onward! - tis our Lord's command; Jesus saves! Jesus saves!

waft it on the rolling tide: "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"
tell to sinners far and wide: "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"
sing, you islands of the sea; echo back, you ocean caves;
earth shall keep her jubilee: Jesus saves! Jesus saves!

sing above the battle strife: "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"
by His death and endless life Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
shout it brightly through the gloom, when the heart for mercy craves;
sing in triumph o'er the tomb: "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"

give the winds a mighty voice: Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
let the nations now rejoice - Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
shout salvation full and free; highest hills and deepest caves;
this our song of victory: "Jesus saves! Jesus saves!"
1) the gospel should drive us to be loud about it.
2) "earth shall keep her jubilee" - that's pretty incredible.
3) Jesus saves us "by His death and endless life" - which is a pretty amazing double-whammy.
4) the heart craves mercy, and the desire is fulfilled in the salvation bought for us by Christ.
5) we can "sing in triumph" over death - NO one else can do this.
6) "shout salvation full and free"
i have 5 papers, 6 tests, a bunch of housing stuff, homework, planning stuff for summer conference, and at least one party to plan before May 4.
on the other hand, i'm going home for easter! our entire immediate family will be in OUR house for the first time since last august!!!! can't complain about that, man.

9:54 PM

O, For a Thousand Tongues To Sing

o, for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer's praise,
the glories of my God and King, the triumphs of His grace

"Jesus," the name that charms our fears, that bids our sorrows cease
tis music in the sinner's ears, tis life and health and peace

He breaks the power of cancelled sin, He sets the prisoner free
His blood can make the foulest clean, His blood availed for me

He speaks, and, listening to His voice, new life and dead receive,
the mournful broken hearts rejoice, the humble poor believe

my gracious Master and my God, assist me to proclaim
to spread through all the earth abroad the honors of Thy Name

hear Him, ye deaf; His praise, ye dumb, your loosened tongues employ
ye blind, behold your Savior come, and leap, ye lame, for joy!
1) this may be obvious, but i have to focus on it in my thinking to get there: the first verse is about how we need so many more voices than we've got to praise the Lord as He deserves.
2) "Jesus" - names don't get more precious than that - giving life, health and peace!
3) the Gospel changes people. it makes dead people come alive, it heals broken hearts, it gives people the power to believe in and deeply trust God.
4) God enables the people He loves to obey Him - if He commands them to hear Him, he gives them hearing; if He demands that they speak, He gives them voices. pretty crazy, huh?

7:33 PM

Just As I Am

just as i am, without one plea
but that Thy blood was shed for me
and that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
o Lamb of God, i come, i come

just as i am, and waiting not
to rid my soul of one dark blot
to Thee, Whose blood can cleanse each spot,
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
o Lamb of God, i come, i come

just as i am, though tossed about
with many conflicts, many doubts
fightings and fears within, without
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
o Lamb of God, i come, i come

just as i am, poor, wretched, blind -
sight, riches, healing of the mind
yea, all i need in Thee to find
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
o Lamb of God, i come, i come

just as i am, Thou wilt receive
will welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve
because Thy promise i believe
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
o Lamb of God, i come, i come

just as i am, Thy love unknown
has broken ev'ry barrier down
and to be Thine, yea, Thine alone
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
o Lamb of God, i come, i come
dontcha love that song? i love the Gospel. :)

12:19 AM

In Christ Alone

in Christ alone my hope is found
He is my Light, my Strength, my Song
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground
firm through the fiercest drought and storm
what heights of love! what depths of peace!
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease
my Comforter, my All-in-all
here in the love of Christ i stand

in Christ alone, Who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
this Gift of love and righteousness
scorned by the ones He came to save
till on that cross as Jesus died
the wrath of God was satisfied
for every sin on Him was laid
here in the death of Christ i live

there in the ground His body lay
Light of the world, by darkness slain
then bursting forth in glorious day
up from the grave He rose again
and as He stands in victory
sin's curse has lost its grip on me
for i am His, and He is mine
bought with the precious blood of Christ

no guilt in life, no fear in death -
this is the power of Christ in me
from life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
no power of hell, no scheme of man
can ever pluck me from His hand
till He returns or calls me home
here in the power of Christ i'll stand
this here's a new hymn, like sandra's "grace upon grace." one thing i think alot of us Christians are bad about is chronological snobbery, whether that means only accepting old things or new things. we seem to be pretty much bad at both. anyway, this song reminds me often that my chronological snobbery tends more toward lauding old stuff and looking down on new stuff, and dude, that just ain't what it's about. it's about the gospel. and so is this song. :)
1) reminds me of "on Christ, the solid Rock, i stand - all other ground is sinking sand..."
2) "when fears are stilled, when strivings cease" - because of the cross, our fears can be stilled and our strivings can cease - and the more we believe the gospel, the more our fears will become still and our strivings will cease. adding to the work of Christ is just not going to happen.
3) "Fullness of God in helpless Babe" - wow. the incarnation never ceases to blow me away.
4) we are no longer under the power of sin's curse if we are Christ's and He is ours (there we go again with my beloved "possessive language" about our relationship to God), and we are increasingly healed from the poison of sin itself. if that makes sense. and no, the song doesn't mention that last bit.
5) "no guilt in life, no fear in death - this is the power of Christ in me" - how i wish i lived like this!! "it is for freedom you have been set free" - when will you get that through your thick skull, lauren???
6) the only beef i have with this song is the very beautiful phrase "from life's first cry to final breath" - as nice as it is, life happens before that first cry, and Jesus surely controls our destinies while we're in the womb as well as once we're out of it.
7) "for i am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (romans 8:38-39)

1:49 AM

Approach My Soul

approach, my soul, the mercy-seat
where Jesus answers prayer
there humbly fall before His feet
for none can perish there

Thy promise is my only plea
with this i venture nigh
Thou callest burdened souls to Thee
and such, o Lord, am i!

o wondrous love - to bleed and die!
to bear the cross and shame!
that guilty sinners such as i
might plead Thy gracious Name

bowed down beneath a load of sin
by satan sorely pressed
by wars without and fears within
i come to Thee for rest

be Thou my shield and hiding place
that, sheltered near Thy side,
i may my fierce accuser face
and tell him Thou hast died!

o wondrous love - to bleed and die!
to bear the cross and shame!
that guilty sinners such as i
might plead Thy gracious Name
1) i love that we are approaching the mercy-seat - where the high priest poured blood out to atone for the sins of israel once a year - in the holy of holies. we can only do this because Christ's death ripped the curtain off, signaling that we are welcome there now. God's wrath is no longer a danger to us, because our redemption has been accomplished. we are paid for.
2) i love that we approach resting only on His promise - His word! THAT is the only plea we have.
3) the honesty of "Thou callest burdened souls to Thee, and such, o Lord, am i!" is refreshing
4) "sorely pressed by wars without and fears within" - gee, describe my heart, why don't you?
5) "i may my fierce accuser face and tell him Thou hast died!" - we are set, ladies and gents, if we are in Christ. satan has to shut up in the face of that truth, and we can have confidence!

12:09 AM

Before the Throne of God Above

before the throne of God above
i have a strong and perfect Plea -
a great High Priest Whose Name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me
my name is graven on His hands
my name is written on His heart
i know that while in heaven He stands
no tongue can bid me thence depart
no tongue can bid me thence depart

when satan tempts me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within
upward i look and see Him there,
Who made an end to all my sin
because the sinless Savior died
my sinful soul is counted free
for God the just is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me
to look on Him and pardon me

behold Him there - the risen Lamb
my perfect, spotless Righteousness
the great unchangeable I Am
the King of glory and of grace
one with Himself, i cannot die
my soul is purchased by His blood
my life is hid with Christ on high
with Christ my Savior and my God
with Christ my Savior and my God
1) nobody can nay-say me and my belonging to God and my presence in His kingdom and my childhood so long as Jesus is standing before God with "Lauren" written on His hands and heart. it just ain't happening. (and, hint hint, He sure as heck ain't movin'.)
2) the plea that Christ's very presence makes for me is "strong and perfect."
3) my despair because of my hopelessness in myself is shaken off by fixin' my gaze on Jesus, "Who made an end of all my sin." "God the just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me."
4) i love this turn of phrase: "my perfect, spotless Righteousness". how absolutely incredible that we can be so possessive of the God of the universe!
5) "my life is hid with Christ on high" - reminds me of that fabulous out of the grey song "disappear" - "hidden in the way i was intended to be, i'm closer to You and farther from me, i would disappear... pulling focus from myself, now it's coming clear..."

8:39 PM

Jesus, What a Friend for Sinners!

Jesus, what a Friend for sinners! Jesus, Lover of my soul!
friends may fail me; foes assail me - He, my Savior, makes me whole
hallelujah, what a Savior! hallelujah, what a Friend!
saving, helping, keeping, loving - He is with me to the end

Jesus, what a Strength in weakness - let me hide myself in Him
tempted, tried, and sometimes failing, He, my Strength, my victory wins
hallelujah, what a Savior! hallelujah, what a Friend!
saving, helping, keeping, loving - He is with me to the end

Jesus, what a help in sorrow! while the billows o'er me roll
even when my heart is breaking, He, my Comfort, helps my soul
hallelujah, what a Savior! hallelujah, what a Friend!
saving, helping, keeping, loving - He is with me to the end

Jesus, i do now receive Him - more than all in Him i find
He hath granted me forgiveness; i am His and He is mine
hallelujah, what a Savior! hallelujah, what a Friend!
saving, helping, keeping, loving - He is with me to the end
i love this song. it has alot of stuff i always note in it: "i am His and He is mine" for example. but it makes alot of great fresh points that enrich our understanding of the Gospel.
1) how fun a list is this? "saving, helping, keeping, loving - He is with me till the end" i mean, at the risk of sounding trite, do saviors come more amazing than ours? could they? i think not.
2) the constancy of the Gospel despite the changes in me and my circumstances - "friends may fail me; foes assail me" and "tempted, tried, and sometimes failing" and "sorrow" and "weakness" and "even when my heart is breaking" - is downright astounding.
3) "He, my Strength, my victory wins" - which is so good, because all the crazy stuff in me (see #2) tends to suggest that i'm not going to pull it off, which any decent understanding of me would shout from the rooftops.

12:31 AM

An Odyssey Quote

setting - connie and eugene have entered the imagination station, "traveling" back to right before Jesus was born to see what it may have been like. when they meet an innkeeper, eugene busts out this...
eugene: "you may call me eugenious."
connie: "oh brother."

12:16 AM

What Wondrous Love Is This?

what wondrous love is this, oh my soul, oh my soul?
what wondrous love is this, oh my soul?
what wondrous love is this, that caused the Lord of bliss
to bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul
to bear the dreadful curse for my soul?

when i was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down
when i was sinking down, sinking down
when i was sinking down beneath God's righteous frown
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul, for my soul
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul

to God and to the Lamb i will sing, i will sing
to God and to the Lamb i will sing
to God and to the Lamb, Who is the great I Am
while millions join the theme, i will sing, i will sing
while millions join the theme, i will sing

and when from death i'm free, i'll sing on, i'll sing on
and when from death i'm free, i'll sing on
and when from death i'm free, i'll sing and joyful be
and through eternity i'll sing on, i'll sing on
and through eternity i'll sing on
i think for the most part, the repetition in this song gives us a chance to marvel at what it's reflecting on. and other than that, i think it stands alone. like the cheese.

10:29 PM

When All Thy Mercies

when all Thy mercies, o my God,
my rising soul surveys
transported with the view, i'm lost
in wonder, love, and praise

unnumbered comforts to my soul
Thy tender care bestowed
before my infant heart conceived
from Whom those comforts flowed

through all eternity to Thee a joyful song i'll raise
for, o!, eternity's too short to utter all Thy praise

when worn with sickness oft hast Thou
with health renewed my face
and when in sins and sorrows sunk
revived my soul with grace

ten thousand thousand precious gifts
my daily thanks employ
nor is the least a cheerful heart
that tastes those gifts with joy

through all eternity to Thee a joyful song i'll raise
for, o!, eternity's too short to utter all Thy praise

through every period of my life
Thy goodness i'll pursue
and after death in distant worlds
the glorious theme renew

through all eternity to Thee a joyful song i'll raise
for, o!, eternity's too short to utter all Thy praise
this hymn is definitely dear to my heart, for obvious reasons probably. despite its obviousness, i still am planning to be more personal this time. just cause i feel like it.
1) stanza 2 highlights the fabulously radical love of God, that showers us with blessings and love even before we are capable of knowing where they are coming from.
2) i get sick a lot and i have recently had some frustrating back issues. God makes me better a lot, but even more often it's with soul-health in my heart that spreads to my face.
3) when i get "sunk" in "sins and sorrows" - which isn't uncommon - He "revives my soul with grace" not unlike the way He gives me joy when i'm sick or my back is out. (shout out to kyle, who was a significant means of grace in the most recent "sinking incident")
4) i love the reference to a "cheerful heart" being a gift of God that enables us to "taste" other gifts of God "with joy."
5) "through every period of my life Thy goodness i'll pursue" - this sounds to me like the thrilling game of chase. thankfully, our God lets us catch Him. :)
6) we will never run out of praising to do... thank God that He is so good that we can praise Him forever because it will take that long!

3:13 AM

When I Survey

when i survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of glory died
my richest gain i count but loss
and pour contempt on all my pride

forbid it, Lord, that i should boast
save in the death of Christ my God
all the vain things that charm me most
i sacrifice them to His blood

see, from His head, His hands, His feet -
sorrow and love flow mingled down!
did e'er such love and sorrow meet?
or thorns compose so rich a crown?

where the whole realm of nature mine
that were a present far too small
love so amazing, so divine
demands my soul, my life, my all
"but whatever gain i had, i counted as loss for the sake of Christ. indeed, i count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake i have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that i may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that i may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible i may attain the resurrection from the dead. not that i have already obtained this or am already perfect, but i press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own." (philippians 3:7-12)

also of note: "see, from His head, His hands, His feet - sorrow and love flow mingled down!" how powerful a description of the blood of Christ is that?!