3:15 AM


I'm bad at that. Waiting. I mean, if there were a class in it, I'd definitely have like a -12. Maybe I'm being generous. It'd probably more like -12000. The thing is that I try to use analysis (to figure out the world) to gain a sense of control over things. I am really really bad about that, and even worse than that is that I am very very untrusting of God. I like to have boxes with labels for everything, and I like to have my boxes cross-referenced and labeled again in the file box at the front of my brain. And if I don't, I switch into panic mode. Most of the people who would actually be reading this probably are fully aware of this fact - from ample experience.

Laura Lahti shook me up a lot by reminding me tonight that I only get to know one space - the one ahead of me. And even stepping into that space is - MUST BE - totally an act of trust that God knows what He's doing and where He's taking me. That must be enough for me.

Jesus is so bigger than all of craziness in my life. (Not that the craziness is bad - it's pretty fun, but I'm still trying to micromanage what I have no hope of even getting a tiny grasp on.) So right now resting and trusting are big in my prayer life.

"Wait for the Lord - be strong, take heart, and wait for the Lord!" - psalm 27:14 (even david thought it meant being strong to wait!)

"i will wait on You, i will wait on You... for i will trust in Your unfailing love. my heart rejoices in Your salvation. i will sing to the Lord for He has, He's been good to me..." - shane & shane

"He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also along with Him graciously give us all things?" - romans 8:32

"i wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His Word i hope..." - psalm 130: 5

"we run on up ahead, we lag behind You - it's hard to wait with heaven on our minds. teach our restless feet to walk beside You, cause in our hearts we're already gone..." - point of grace

"though the days be laced with trouble, be the Stone o'er which i stumble
straight into the arms and stay
where You remain" - jennifer knapp

"o Israel, hope in the LORD! for with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with Him is plentiful redemption." - psalm 130:7

"'the Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore i will hope in Him.'" - lamentations 3:24

may my heart be so rooted in Jesus as to be unshakeable...