Warning: This Is Kinda Gross

so last night, i was innocently sitting on my couch reading persuasion for my jane austen class, when something flew straight into my ear. i didn't even know the thing was in my apartment, and all of the sudden it was in ME. and it wouldn't come out. i shook my head and i tugged on my ear and i tried to convince it to come out, but it surely didn't. it just crawled further in. it had tickled at first, but then it started to hurt. alot.

i called my parents, but they didn't have much advice. mom suggested trying to drown it by pouring water into my ear, so i did... nothing.

i called my roommate, who was at the time about an hour and a half away. her fiance (my cousin) suggested trying the vacuum-cleaner approach, but to be careful not to let it touch the skin on my head or it would suck out my brains. decided not to try that alone.

called my friend anne, who is very medically minded (and well-stocked on tips from her doctor father) to ask her advice. she said to hop in the shower and hold my head on one side, letting the water from the showerhead run in it constantly and try to flush it out. apparently that's the method doctors use in trying to extricate stuff from ears. so i stood there in the shower for what felt like forever. waiting. w.a.i.t.i.n.g. starting to wonder if i was going mad around minute 6. then all of the sudden, a bug appeared in the water at my feet.

in the aftermath, my poor ear feels like it's been beaten up. it is highly unpleasant for the ear to deal with such intrusion, particularly of the crawling, fluttering, winged sort. i hope never to repeat that experience. yelch.

how big was it? it was bigger than a big mosquito, but not much bigger.

who even knew this happened to people?