Two Lists for Book Lovers

i love books. i read voraciously, to an almost sickening degree (strike the almost if you're my sister). so i have decided to compile a couple of lists about books. tomorrow i'll post a more positive list.

the first list is of books i hate. in order for me to hate a book, something serious has to have happened. i mean, we aren't talking mere about disliking or being disturbed. i rarely really hate books. it makes them special. these are listed in terms of how virulent my hatred is, not the books' own merits. incidentally, several of these i haven't finished because i got worked up too quickly and strongly.

Top Ten Books I Hate
10. hatchet - i was highly disturbed by the ruminations of a preteen on suicide. couldn't handle it.
9. the emperor's children - just not that interesting. just enough literary proficiency to make me read the whole thing, just enough sin and disordered relationships to frustrate the heck out of me, just enough of a waste to make me like "grr" about the whole thing. especially since it was supposed to be the greatest novel of the new century according to somebody i will no longer be listening to.... if i can remember who it was.
8. the awakening - i hate to break it to you feminists who believe it, but freedom is not about escaping the responsibilities of family. it's not about escaping responsibilities period. the selfishness - claiming to speak for women - of this book really ticked me off.
7. choosing God's best - who wants to be patronized, talked down to, and lectured on romantic relationships with questionable theology? this is your book.
6. the camel club - i would hope that there would be SOME level of literary prowess in an author who has consistently made the NYT bestseller list.... but this book suggests otherwise. it's painful - full of sentences like, "not only was macon surprised to see his mother, but the sky was full of dark clouds." i made that one up, but it reflects a common sentence structure baldacci loves to use. and the plot sucks, too.
5. lipstick jungle - started reading it. stopped after page like 12 and threw it in the trash - too much sex. in the first 12 pages. not a good sign.
4. the master and margarita - this book is probably not at fault, but i read it for a class in college which was taught by a professor who totally creeped us out, especially regarding this book (jokes about the magic lotion - or "goddess cream" - that makes you gorgeous and enables you to fly were REALLY over the top). this is a case of guilt by association.
3. corregidora - the obsession of this book with the ugliness of the protagonists' genealogical heritage - a grandfather (and also great-grandfather - same guy) who was a slave-owning monster is overwhelmingly grotesque. the sexual violence, the serious dysfunction were really disturbing. and there really is no hope, because there is no exit from the cycle of dysfunction.
2. codex - the entire time i was reading this book, i was thinking "this is just completely ridiculous." i kept thinking there had to be more going on - there had to be more going on, but there wasn't. the secret of this codex was in some easter egg in a video game. and the darkness of the narrative form, which is something i generally enjoy, was weird. i actually threw the book when i finished it.
1. lolita - that same class from #4 required this book. 60 pages was enough for me - i begged off on moral reasons (and was told to read this fabulous other book, called we). nabokov is undoubtedly a genius, and lolita is undoubtedly a very important book. but sometimes i think burying your head in the sand is ok, and i for one don't need detailed descriptions of pedophilia floating around in my head.