I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, after sheer insanity, i finally am emerging from radio silence and giving you some pictures from my life for the last few weeks. they aren't very exciting. ;)

my sister came to visit in the middle of my paper writing. we had fun, despite the fact that i was working like a dog quite a bit of the time and sick as a dog for more of the time.

not sure which roommate brought home these flowers, but they are beautiful, aren't they?

ruf support letters! lots of them!

studying is hard work! old exams help.


katie and i went out for a fancy seafood dinner. :)

we have had LOADS of storms and rain and craziness. beautiful, isn't it?

paper writing - this one was on the reasons for the differences between the blessings of the 12 tribes in genesis 49 and deuteronomy 33. sounds like it wouldn't be fascinating, but it so was.

went to visit friends at wake. this advert for the lilting banshees comedy troupe made me laugh and brought back memories from times gone by.

this is what my bed looked like an awful lot during the past few weeks. lots and lots of books. can you tell facebook is up and there's an agatha christie book in the back? a girl's gotta have some breaks or her brain will fry.

John Owen

my paper was called "Will the Real John Owen Please Stand Up? A Preparation to Read Owen's Works." if you really want to read the whole thing, which is like 13 pages long, let me know and i'll email it to you. in the meantime, i'll give you a few snippets you may not have known about the great puritan theologian.

fact #1) owen was married twice, first to mary for 31 years, then a year and a half after she died, to dorothy (who was widowed as well) for 8.

fact #2) mary bore john 11 children. only one of them survived to adulthood, and she too died before owen. that's an average of one child dying every three years throughout his adulthood.

fact #3) neither of his wives and none of his children are mentioned in any of his published works, and as far as i could find out, they aren't mentioned in any of his surviving letters. in fact, the only family member he does mention is his father, and only in a sentence.

fact #4) owen was a calvinist before he was a christian.

fact #5) owen was, in turn, a country preacher, a tutor, a private family chaplain, a military chaplain, dean and then vice chancellor at oxford college christ church, where he was responsible for the worship services, and a city pastor. and the whole time he was writing book after book. he also regularly preached before parliament, and his favorite sermon topic on these occasions was religious tolerance within orthodoxy.

fact #6) owen was tight with oliver cromwell.

fact #7) owen drives biographers and historians crazy because of the paucity of info on him.

Time for a Poll

so i have to write a biography paper on somebody, and i'm trying to decide between the following individuals. anybody have any preferences on this list? note that i am planning to post about the winning fellow on here, so you will benefit (if you read it at least) from the final selection.

if you'd rather not comment, you can always email me.

John a Lasco (he just sounds cool. wikipedia him here.)
Philip Melanchthon (for obvious reasons)
Richard Baxter (wrote the reformed pastor, which is apparently the definitive work on pastoring)
John Owen (freaking brilliant - i love the death of death in the death of Christ)
Thomas Cranmer (i like the book of common prayer)

New Semester

thought i'd fill y'all in on the new schedule. just for kicks.

monday
1-4 advanced biblical exegesis (ABX) with drs cara and belcher

tuesday
8-12 genesis-joshua with dr currid
1-4 admissions work (chick recruiting)

wednesday
8:30-12 history II with dr fortson
1-3 authority and origin of the new testament canon with dr kruger
3-4 admissions work (chick recruiting)

thursday
nothin' on the schedule

friday
1-5:30ish putting in hours at church (yay children's ministry!)


other important facts about the semester's flow include a move (within charlotte, don't get excited) at the end of march, a visit from mom at the end of february/beginning of march, and an as yet to-be-determined visit by my super-close friend and cousin emily sometime. so yay!!! it's gonna be a wild ride.

I Swear Things Will Be Different...

the truth is that i'm way too busy doing things that either are just too much for me (i.e., 14 hours of classes) or are my mundane attempt at making up for how hard i'm working and how crazy my life is. between surprises like physical therapy twice a week for my knees and my grandfather's death and funeral last week, i haven't been able to catch a breath sizable enough to write something. but i will say a few things now.

firstly, i'm now 23. my birthday was last monday. it started off not so hot, as my grandfather had died saturday morning and i was just generally having a crappy day, but it got better. suffice it to say that i like people.

secondly, i'm grateful that my grandfather is with Jesus now, and that he's more alive now that we are here.

thirdly, i'm switching degrees (MDiv to MABS) in order to preserve my sanity (fewer classes at a time, and still graduating 1/2 a year to a year earlier than i would have in the MDiv) and give me the opportunity to do other things - like join a book club, babysit, and really develop some friendships here in charlotte.

fourthly, look at this. it's really funny.

so i hope to write more regularly once the insanity of my life slows down, and i'm thereby able to do things interesting enough to write about. or think things interesting enough to write about. or, heck, to think things at all. in the meantime, please bear with me.

This is an except from my Gospels' notes. I came across it studying for the exam I have to take tomorrow. It refers to the currently-chic academic position that the Gospels are unreliable sources of information because of the obvious bias of their authors. Thought it was interesting.

Oh, and the part in brackets is definitely still notes from the lecture.

Because there’s a theological agenda there can’t
be real history [Says who? This is a false dichotomy!! You cannot make claims like that without interposing your own suppositions about reality into the very argument. The idea that you can witness this kind of stuff and not have an opinion is ridiculous. To say that you can’t trust a person with an agenda is to say that you can’t trust anyone, ever, including yourself. Compare this to the way we do history now – like the Holocaust, for example. The assumption that if you are intimately involved in the events themselves and therefore have an emotional opinion about it necessarily means that you must be untrustworthy is quite absurd and unhelpful.]

Boo

no, that was not a reference to halloween. it was, rather, a reference to the fact that i haven't been around much.

this is due to a number of things, not the least of which is my utter exhaustion due to near constant activity and extremely large quantities of homework. but the fact of the matter is that today is the sabbath, and on the sabbath i relax, rest, and soak up time with God's people, and today i'm not so exhausted that my relax and rest time must be absorbed by a nap. so here i am, finally able to blog again.

i spent pretty much all day yesterday (well, i slept in late, but i stayed up late too, and i worked out when i first got up) writing 2 papers that are due early in the week this week. one of them was on the book degenerate moderns, which i've just discovered you can read online here for free. now i feel stupid for ordering it. anyway, despite the author's highly catholic tendencies, i recommend the read. it's not perfect, but it is worth your time. particularly helpful is the chapter entitled "liberal guilt cookies."

i have discovered that i am kid-deprived. this will probably lead to further insanity, such as babysitting jobs. seriously, my life is ridiculous, and i have no idea where i would fit said babysitting jobs into it, but i'm going into withdrawal here. not good.

i joined the church today, and when lindsey williams (the pastor who does all that new member business - don't worry, he's a he) introdcuced me he read out that my hobbies are "reading, volleyball, and blogging." for the record, i am confident that i put a much longer list, including watching movies, cooking, singing, napping, and especially hanging out with people. but those are the three that got read. and i was like "crap, i haven't blogged in forever." well, it turns out "forever" is a mere 9 days, but still...

i'm going to visit my not-so-little sister next weekend, which should be wonderful. i'm really excited to hang out and lay low. and get my eyebrows waxed again - her place she goes hardly hurts at all!!

has anyone ever heard of massage envy?

So the biggest reason i haven't posted yet...

...is that i know y'all were excited about hearing about the frame class. and i dropped it. because i got way overwhelmed. please don't be mad.

the one class i sat in before i freaked and dropped was really good. actually, you can listen to his whole lecture series on the topic for free - iTunesU, baby.

the rest of the news is random. here are the basics:

1) i'm joining my beloved church next sunday.
2) i'm loving clinique's 15-minute-facial.
3) i'm going to winston for the weekend to hang out with my best college buds. :)
4) i'm wracked with guilt because i don't know how to contact my beloved cousin leslie, who commented here a few weeks ago and called me. i'm hoping she comes back and emails me or something. {webs - my email is, sans spaces, l k p johnson @ g mail . com}
5) i miss my sister. i miss the rest of my family too, but i've seen them recently.
6) i hate food poisoning. be glad there isn't something like a picture for me to show.
7) seminary is hard.

This Week

is australian. i hope to post this coming weekend sometime, but at the moment i'm barely keeping my head above water.

countdown to frame class: t-6 days.

Sorry About the Long Silence...

a lot of stuff has happened, but mostly it hasn't changed things. i went to dallas to hang with the fam. i came back. i've done a lot of homework. i went to portland, or for a friend's wedding. i came back. i got jetlagged. i got sick. i missed class. i did a lot more homework. i'm swamped. seminary is insane.

but i love it.

more later - the soon kind of later. scout's honor.

Quote from the Files of Donald Fortson

"He who takes himself for a master becomes himself the disciple of a fool." - Bernard of Clairveaux

So

i haven't decided yet what i'm singing. some possibilities are the following: he's a tramp, there's your trouble, some days you gotta dance, findin' a good man, landslide, the first cut is the deepest, and leave the pieces. the decision is mostly dependent on the opinion of my friend sarah. and whim.

i thought i'd fill y'all in on my fall schedule. the real semester starts in about a week and a half, and i'm really excited about my slieu of classes. and that will probably be evident in my posting very shortly, so you'd best be apprised of what exactly i'll be rambling about.

Mondays 1-4 Greek II (Dr. Mike Kruger is my favorite professor so far, and i get to take him twice this fall)
Tuesdays 8-12 Intro to Pastoral and Theological Studies (Dr. Douglas Kelly)
6-9 Gospels (Dr. Kruger again)
Wednesday 8:30-10:30 Intro to Preaching (Dr. Richard Belcher)
Thursday 6-9 History of Christianity I (Dr. Donald Fortson)

then during the week of fall break, i'm taking this lovely week-long class called The History of Philosophy and Christian Thought, being taught by RTS-Orlando professor Dr. John Frame. doesn't that sound like wayyyyyy too much fun to be legal?

I'm Sick

like missed class yesterday, went to the doctor, hacking like a smoker, super-congested, z-pack for 5 days, having trouble hearing, headachey, gross sick. i don't recommend it. in fact, i recommend avoiding it if possible. it's MIZ-ER-A-BULL. yelch.

i found out today that a miracle is occurring: my mother is reading harry potter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is unbelievable. she freaked when i read the first one last christmas or summer or whenever it was.... but now she's reading them, i guess to see what she thinks. her biggest issue with them so far has been the lying i think. but we'll see what her verdict is after she finishes the last 3 (she's on book 4 right now).

speaking of book 7 (sorta), i loved it. L-O-V-E-D - the wish i was a songwriter so i could write a song about how much i loved it kind. it was beautiful. the overall plot, the coherence and continuity of the story, the love and selflessness, the personal growth, the sacrifice, the appreciation of the gravity of hard things, the war between good and evil, the complexity of the human soul, the responsibility of each individual for his or her choices, the importance of standing strong against evil even when there's no reasonable hope of victory, the power of friendship, the strength that is garnered from accountability and togetherness, the fact that there are plenty of things worse than death... this was good stuff, folks. i'm not saying we should pass it out to every 9-12 year old kid, or that it doesn't have its issues, because it does. i'm all into being careful about what your kids read - and KNOWING what they read is kinda an important part of that, as is knowing your kid. but i do think that rowling has offered here a lot of truth and meaningful value - a heck of a lot more than you would find in the vast majority of tv shows, movies, and books in general, let alone produced for that age range.

one great thing about the psychology of the harry potter books is that it's not fairytale-like. no one is idealized in the series - no one is perfectly admirable or worthy of utter emulation. it works the same way with people - heck, it works the same way with theologians!!!

the big debate for the characters in the deathly hallows is one of taking sides: will they side with good or evil? there is no middle ground - there is no sitting on the sidelines and watching - you have to pick. if you don't, you're as good as evil (don't think about that too hard because it's a horrible sentence). funny how we don't treat our SIN, which is waging war against us from within our own BODIES, this way........

Ethics, Weddings, and Harry Potter

so my first seminary class was, as promised, like drinking from a fire hydrant. most of the days were spent 8ish hours in class and the rest of the time trying to recover - an entire three-hour class in one week is kinda insane. it's utterly exhausting.

the class was great though - mark ross, a professor visiting from erskine theological seminary, is hilarious and effective as a lecturer, particularly notable given the length of the class each day. he reminded me alot of some bizarre cross between jack mccoy and dick van dyke. it was a blast.

so one of my best friends is married as of this time last week, and another is marrying my cousin a week from today... i'm in the midst of a very wedding-saturated summer. crazy, but true.

i'm rereading Harry Potter again to be prepared for book 7, which i await with baited breath. it's been a great break from all the reading i've been doing for class - john murray in particular is nigh impossible to read straight through.

other things that have happened of note include -
the viewing of pirates of the caribbean 3 twice, both times evoking tears. i LOVED it on a number of levels. maybe i'll post a big long review of it sometime soon, but i'd rather wait a wee bit longer so that i can make sure everyone has seen it who's going to. really, in the end, i'd rather not spoil it - it's great. : )
adjusting to the new roommates and new house and new city and hanging pictures and decorating and doing plenty of other fun things, from visiting churches to trying new restaurants. all of these are going great. it's like yay. : )
i have DVR and can record as much law and order and without a trace and such as i want. tv on my schedule, which is quite bizarre. (do i sound enough like a commercial?)

ok, so that's it for now. not much deep thought ready to spill out onto the pages yet.

Still Kicking...

let's see, since i wrote last, i have...

gone to RUF summer conference

moved into my apartment in Charlotte

graduated from college

hung out with my sister in my new town

gone to Chicago to attend a cousin's wedding

family vacation, including a drive from Chicago to Myrtle Beach, stopping off in Pennsylvania to visit my grandfather en route

tomorrow is my first day in seminary.

whoohoo, eh?

i'll be back more now that my life has settled down a bit, and i'll keep you posted.

first class up: pastoral and social ethics. should be fun.

Greetings, Earthinglings

wow. i can't believe it's been 20 days since i last posted. they have been a pretty crazy 20 days, so i suppose it's justified, but holy smokes. sorry about that.

college is wrapping up pretty quickly - one more day of class for me (3 for everyone else), one ten page paper, five discussion questions, and two exams are all that stand between me and the end of the academic year. then it's off to ruf summer conference, then back for graduation and moving, then settling into charlotte before classes start on june 11. i promise to update further and talk about the kingdom as promised, but i am completely at the end of my rope and there's no way i can write more now.

so sorry for being a slacker. :)

I'm Back!

spring break was wonderful - drove from nc to tx and back, with a couple of fun stops along the way. my room mate and i had fun on the road and in the big D, and it was fun to hang out with the fam, of course. big news items: 1) i got a new camera. it's brown and adorable and (this is the kicker) it works. so yay for that. 2) i got into rts charlotte, and i'm going there. so yay for that. i'm seriously thrilled beyond verbal expression. that's saying alot for me.

i obviously took spring break off from blogging - didn't initially decide to do that, but i definitely think it was for the best. however, i would like to blog 40 hymns again this lent, so this week i'm doubling up. whoohoo!

picking up where we left off, in the middle of a "welcome to the church - we're screwed up too!" mini-series....

Come, Ye Disconsolate
come, ye disconsolate, where e'er ye languish
come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish;
earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate, Light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!
here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying,
"earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal."

here see the Bread of life; see waters flowing
forth from the throne of God, pure from above.
come to the feast of love, come ever knowing,
earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok, so this is less of a communal hymn than a private one, but i think the fact that it's specifically addressing those of us who are especially broken and wounded. ours is not a "get fancy and then come" religion, but one which is the only hope of those who are total trainwrecks. you know, people like us.

Jesus, Cast a Look on Me
Jesus, cast a look on me;
give me sweet simplicity.
make me poor and keep me low,
seeking only Thee to know.

all that feeds my busy pride,
cast it evermore aside;
bid my will to Thine submit;
lay me humbly at Thy feet.

make me like a little child,
of my strength and wisdom spoiled -
seeing only in Thy light,
walking only in Thy might;

leaning on Thy loving breast,
where a weary soul can rest;
feeling well the peace of God
flowing from His precious blood.

in this posture let me live,
and hosannas daily give.
in this temper let me die,
and hosannas ever cry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i like this one. it is about what some puritan writer dude whose name escapes me calls "cheerful dependence" on God. the thing that is most amazing about this song in my opinion is that all these things we ask in it - to be laid humbly at God's feet; to have what makes us proud chucked by the wayside; to be revealed to ourselves as neither strong nor wise - these are good things for us! they are not self-sacrificial (ramen noodles) but the very meat and potatoes of human existence! they position us in the "posture" which we were made for - resting and rejoicing in God in the midst of the stuff of life.

2 Hymns Today

yesterday i went to visit rts charlotte, then came back to dinner with em and laura before finishing a paper and reading 75 pages and writing questions on the 75 pages for class discussion and then get up this morning early to go read my paper to my professor, go to class, eat lunch, go to class again, and then run home to pack and order things before leaving for charleston, which is where i am now with kate and mom. i'm utterly exhausted.

i loved rts charlotte though.

Thy Mercy, My God
Thy mercy, my God, is the theme of my song,
the joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.

without Thy sweet mercy i could not live here -
sin would reduce me to utter despair;
but through Thy free goodness my spirits revive,
and He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
dissolved by Thy goodness, i fall to the ground,
and weep to the praise of the mercy i've found.

great Father of mercies, Thy goodness i own,
and the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
all praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there's a heap of stuff here. i think i will focus just on the last line of the second stanza: "He that first made me still keeps me alive." there are two levels of this: the obvious, breathing, blood pumping meaning and the spiritual, preservation of the saints meaning. in both cases, God creates and then sustains. He starts and He finishes and He does everything in between.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O, For a Thousand Tongues to Sing!
o, for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer's praise,
the glorious of my God and King, the triumphs of His grace.

"Jesus," the Name that charms our fears, that bids our sorrows cease -
tis music in the sinner's ears, tis life and health and peace.

He breaks the power of cancelled sin; He sets the prisoner free;
His blood can make the foulest clean, His blood availed for me.

He speaks, and listening to His voice, new life the dead receive;
the mournful, broken hearts rejoice; the humble poor believe.

hear Him, ye deaf; His praise, ye dumb your loosened tongues employ;
ye blind - behold your Savior come; and weep, ye lame, for joy.

my gracious Master and my God, assist me to proclaim,
to spread through all the earth abroad the honors of Thy Name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
skip ryan tells the story of when queen elizabeth ii came to uva while he was pastoring trinity pres up there. he said she packed more charisma and "presence" than anyone he'd ever seen. she walked down a path toward the rotunda, and everyone just stood there in silent awe. when she got to the front, she turned around and gave one big wave. in unison, the whole crowd gave a big wave back. they were utterly transfixed. but the thing is that while QE2 is certainly still able to hold our attention, even transfix us, any claim she had to ruling us is ancient history. that's like sin. to put it in the terms of the hymn, justification means sin doesn't count against us in the courtroom; sanctification means sin's hold on us is being diminished. the agent in both activities is God.

thank goodness it's not up to us.

WTS - Dallas

so today i visited westminster theological seminary, dallas campus. i loved it. sure, it's tinier than an ant, but they have elliot greene, who is reportedly the greatest biblical languages prof in the country. after today, i believe it. amazing guy, amazing class. how very presbyterian it seems to me that GRAMMAR bespeaks THEOLOGY. i'm excited.

the biggest downside of wts is that, for someone like me, there aren't really scholarship opportunities, and thanks to my more than amazing parents, i am not going to be left high and dry. they have offered to - well, insisted on - paying for seminary. obviously it would be super helpful to have some help from the school or funds or whatever, but most people don't have parents willing to help out. they need it more than i do.

at least seminary is cheaper than my college. by a TON.

Hello World

i know i have been AWOL. sorry i didn't ask for leave before leaving. things just got absolutely insane the last week or so of school: i pulled 3 more all-nighters; i wrote gobs and gobs of pages; i studied for exams; i even threw a little dinner party. then i drove home, and guess what: my car was leaking oil. it should be ready to be picked up tomorrow. anyway, then i came home, slept a bit, and then i started back at barnes and noble for the holiday season. it has been SO fun - they've put me back in the kids' section pretty exclusively, and i love it. my favorite is when people come to ask about gifty books for kids they know pretty well. it's a blast. i can get so excited about these books, because they are good, and i love people. i love working with people, i love helping them find good things to read or give, and i love to spread the love of reading.

i know i know - i'm a total dork. so sue me.

and the last bit of my excuse for not writing is that the internet connection at my parents' house is awful most of the time. i've even been a slacker at checking email.

i did want to talk about covenant theological seminary - i know some of you were curious about what i thought. granted, i'm late enough in posting (and irregular at this point) that no one may read what i think. but at least i'm putting it out there.

i liked covenant. the people were really sweet and made me feel at home. i sat in on chapel and two classes. hans bayer, whose intro to the bible i sat in on, was sooooooooo fascinating. it was great. and i think my favorite part of the school is the focus on relationships and relational learning. the big talk of the campus was a group project that was being done for the class on the book of job - the teachers commit to fostering discussion and relationships with and between students, because the church is in many ways the antithesis of "every man is an island" and God didn't design us to be hermits. the community life is strong, particularly since there is an actual campus with a lovely library, a student center fully rigged for studyage, and on campus family housing, which brings keeps alot of the married people around. i love the fact that you can look out the window and see parents and kids playing on the campus playground.

that said, i just can't tell whether i like covenant or just seminary. i'm hoping to visit wts-dallas and rts-charlotte before march, so that should help. it should also be quite telling - i think it's more than probable that i will wind up at covenant, but i want to be totally open to what God wants to do. whatever He is up to i want to be a part of.